Mulheres 50+ : conhecendo o mundo e protagonizando a própria história

 Esse relato é uma fonte de inspiração para mulheres com mais de 50 anos que desejam conhecer o mundo sem medo e criar a sua própria história.

Elceli. Jun24,2023

https://www.worldpackers.com/pt-BR/articles/mulheres-viajantes-cinquenta-anos

Viajar sozinha depois de se aposentar: por que não? | Elas Viajam Sozinhas

 A Elceli veio aqui pra mostrar que não, que não tem idade para realizar os seus sonhos: foi viajar sozinha depois de se aposentar!

https://elasviajamsozinhas.com.br/viajar-sozinha-depois-de-se-aposentar/

O que realmente importa nessa vida?

É interessante pensar que para cada pessoa podemos obter uma resposta diferente para esse questionamento, que inicialmente parece tão simples, mas no fundo é de tão difícil resposta. 

Para alguns o que realmente importa na vida é compartilhar conhecimento e transformar a vida das pessoas. Para outros é ganhar muito dinheiro. Para alguns é viajar, para outros a própria vida já é uma viagem. Para alguns trabalhar é um peso. Para outros trabalhar é uma alegria. Para alguns, a crença é não acreditar em nada. Para outros, ter fé é acreditar em tudo. 

As coisas que realmente importam na vida de cada um variam muito. Isso se dá devido à formação pessoal, personalidades únicas e características peculiares de cada indivíduo.

Todos nós temos um jeito próprio de enxergar o mundo. Nossas crenças e experiências no decorrer da vida influenciam nossa percepção toda vez que olhamos para algo ou alguém. Por isso, é muito comum pessoas diferentes terem interpretações completamente diversas sobre a mesma imagem ou situação. 

No mundo capitalista em que vivemos, somos o tempo todo seduzidos pelo lado material, o que muitas vezes nos distancia do que é essencial para as nossas vidas. Mas basta que você pense um minuto para ver o absurdo dessa ideia. Não existe dinheiro no mundo capaz de substituir a dor da perda de um ente querido. Não consigo imaginar nenhum dinheiro que preencha uma alma vazia, que substitua o amor que é capaz de nutrir e unir uma família. Mas a pura verdade é que o dinheiro é apenas um instrumento, e que dependendo de como ele é utilizado, ele será bom ou ruim. O que muda são as pessoas. A felicidade financeira é diferente para cada pessoa; está intimamente relacionada com seus sonhos, objetivos, valores, crenças e outra palavra que gosto muito: prioridades. E você, já parou para pensar quais são as suas prioridades?

Se você deseja viver uma vida com mais sentido, te recomendo descobrir o seu propósito aqui na Terra e, a partir daí, fazer as escolhas certas, alinhadas a ele. O seu propósito está dentro de você, só você e mais ninguém pode descobri-lo e vivê-lo. Para isso é necessário voltar-se para dentro e buscar o autoconhecimento, conhecer a sua própria história pessoal, quais são os seus mais profundos anseios e sonhos para essa vida. Descobrir e conectar-se aquilo que te motiva a acordar todos os dias e a levantar da cama. Aquilo que você faz e nem sente o tempo passar.

Alguma vez você já olhou para dentro de si e se perguntou o que está fazendo neste planeta? O que realmente te motiva e faz o seu corpo vibrar de tanta emoção ao fazer? 

Descobrir o seu propósito ajuda você a encontrar a sua verdadeira paixão nessa vida. E ela é um fator importante para você alcançar algo extraordinário. De conectar-se com o que realmente importa. Seja um sonho de infância ou um estilo de vida recém-adotado, seja um desejo de viver uma vida com mais sentido, que te faça “sentir”. Descobrir o seu propósito pessoal torna-se importante na medida que te auxilia a viver uma vida mais plena, mais verdadeira, satisfatória, de acordo com os seus anseios. Onde é possível encontrar sabor a cada instante vivido, a cada dia, e não apenas nos finais de semana. Saber o por que da existência dele e realizá-lo, te levará ao encontro com a sua verdade, a transformar a sua realidade para melhor e a viver o que de mais belo você tem para viver no momento presente.

Antes de continuar, te convido a parar para pensar nessas questões: Como eu me enxergo? Como eu normalmente influencio as pessoas? Qual a referência que eu tenho de mim mesmo?

Se, ao longo da vida, você fizer escolhas com discernimento, alinhadas ao seu propósito, ao que você ama fazer, ao que você faz bem, a seus valores, ao que o mundo precisa, estará sendo cada vez mais profundo e maduro em todas as suas atitudes, estará sendo você, em sua pura essência.

Quantas pessoas não têm clareza de seu propósito e levam a vida adormecidas? Vivem de troca. Entram num emprego e na primeira dificuldade trocam, casam-se e se separam com a mesma velocidade que trocam de roupa, fazem amigos, mas não conseguem mantê-los. Pessoas assim adoram tentar, sempre acreditando que o próximo será melhor. Grande erro! Não percebem que uma vida sem propósito não leva a lugar nenhum, não vêm que o problema não é externo, mas está dentro delas mesmas. Insistem em continuar buscando a solução fora, nos bens materiais, nas pessoas. Só que olhar para dentro é um hábito que as pessoas vão deixando de lado sem perceber. O mais comum é que olhem e se comparem aos outros, ou para o espelho, para ver se estão com a aparência que a moda dita.

Com o passar do tempo, aprendi algumas coisas: O bom da vida é justamente ela não ser previsível. Não teria nada mais chato que um dia após o outro. Quando tudo está mal, tenho certeza de que vai passar. Mas se está bem, também tenho certeza de que vai passar. Então o jeito é aproveitar! Agradecer o que chega, vibrar com as conquistas e aprender com os tropeços.

Viver com plenitude. Porque as coisas que mais importam na vida não custam, não tem preço e nem valor estimável. Um beijo do seu filho custa zero. Um cafuné da pessoa amada, um colo de mãe, um abraço apertado de um amigo. Tem coisa melhor do que comer sem se culpar? Trabalhar no que gostamos? Brincar com o seu animal de estimação? Ouvir um eu te amo de alguém querido? 

Recomendo a busca imoderada por respostas para tudo o que é importante em nossas vidas. Mas sejamos honestos e não aceitemos menos do que nós  merecemos. Porque nascemos para realizar os nossos sonhos e sermos felizes a cada instante.

Não é uma tarefa fácil encontrar o que importa na vida de repente. Por isso, reflita sobre suas escolhas do passado e as atuais. A partir disso, comece a construir a ideia do que você quer para o seu futuro. Não tenha medo de se arriscar caso pense que tem a capacidade para ser mais. Seja empoderado com o seu destino, afinal quem manda em você mesmo é você. Tome as rédeas da sua vida e faça dela algo satisfatório para você e para as pessoas a sua volta.

Escolhi escrever este texto para, com o que aprendi até hoje, contribuir para aqueles que buscam viver plenamente, aqueles que querem descobrir o que realmente importa na vida, que desejam descobrir o seu propósito e se autoconhecer. Que anseiam por mudança. Porque a vida passa tão rápido que não podemos desperdiçá-la com escolhas erradas. Ela merece ser vivida plenamente para que sejamos sempre livres e felizes!

Desejo um boa jornada. Contem comigo!

Learning Fly

 Love yourself!

 Yes!  For me this is the only thing that cures all problems.  I realized that as I recognized myself and cultivated a love for myself, I started to feel better, more confident, more secure and happy.

 I saw many people with dream jobs, a stable financial situation, relationships flourishing, everyday problems resolving themselves naturally and I wondered why it seemed easy to them and not to me.  The answer was inside me and I couldn't see.  Which of these two situations are you in?

 Learn to fly!  Where to start?

 Perhaps we should initially work on understanding and the dimension of our Self, forgiving ourselves, abandoning criticism, being kind, gentle and patient with our limitations and always listening to our inner voice, it always knows what is best for us.

 When I accepted myself exactly as I was, when I realized what I didn't like about myself, the criticism came in a positive way, indicating the change that should be made, a different way of seeing my questions.  And, when I understood the real meaning of the phrase "Nobody is perfect", from this thought, I stopped comparing myself with other people and looking more inside myself.

 My process started with recognizing and softening the judgments that I made about myself, so each part was valued.  Self-acceptance is considered as an ability to value the good parts, taking into account those others that we need to improve in ourselves and it was, in seeking self-knowledge, that the truth of who I was strengthened me and I was able to take one of the first steps to have  the awareness of what destructive attitudes I would have to abandon.  Maintaining a positive attitude towards ourselves is the only way to provide a starting point for our changes.

 Thus, we understand that self-criticism does not allow us to be able to build a positive inner dialogue, because it destroys all possibilities of developing our potential.

 Do you tend to be very picky with yourself?

 I used to be.  That way, I ended up feeling frustrated and useless for not fulfilling tasks and duties.  When seeking excessively the perfectionism that I built based on what was important to others, I was unable to have a goal or even planning to achieve my own goals, because all my energies were focused on the conflicts to reach them.  Instead of valuing what I already achieved, on my own merit, I was always dissatisfied with the results, which resulted in feelings of failure, depression and anguish.  Today I know that the reference I had to myself was the lack of strengthening my self-esteem and the ability to believe in myself.

 Learning to say "I love myself" is not narcissism, it is the acceptance of being who we are and that love is unconditional.

 Assuming we made mistakes frees us!  We are not born knowing, many things we learn through pain, facing our fears, insecurities, failing to hide from others.  Gradually we are trying to treat ourselves in the same way as we treat others and putting ourselves first.

 And we ask ourselves: Is it selfish to prioritize?

 Saying yes to our needs and focusing on what makes sense to us is not selfishness, but empowerment.  It is establishing and maintaining a connection with our self.

 Selfishness is understood as the habit or attitude of a person putting his interests, opinions, desires and needs first, without any analysis of the situation that may be in question.  Selfishness is being blindfolded to even look at others, the opposite of altruism.  Self-centeredness is nothing more than selfishness in practice.

 Selfish people tend to be cold and indifferent, as they only see their own longings.  If we look at it, many selfish people are actually people with very deep questions about survival and self-preservation, many of these problems developed in childhood, where we often do not feel safe within the family, developing this primitive instinct to prioritize ourselves for  stay alive.

 In adulthood, we have opportunities to review these issues, exchange experiences (as we do together here) and design the improvement we want to see in ourselves.

 In self-love we find the revitalization of our being!  In the conviction of who we are, we give ourselves the right to make mistakes and be imperfect, just as we accept these limitations in other people.

 This is the key to change: establishing empathy and compassion for me and the people around me.

 Let's go together?

 "Learning to put yourself first is neither selfish or proud, it is self-love."  Charlie Chaplin

Beying a child, yestarday and today

My self is a composition of many factors, many beliefs and is a slow construction of our person, and we do it throug life. The texts I have writing for you have very comprehensive themes and converging to the inner self. In each of them I agree a principle, a characteristic, which helps us in this meeting, in the perception of who we are in essence.

 In the last years of my life I came across the need to welcome my inner child, understanding that this process would be indispensable to solve internal issues, loaded for many years, and thus follow my journey in a lighter and more balanced way. This journey has been so curative that I want, if it allows me, to share my experience and help you in this enriching process. We will today a childhood trip, where past, present and future are in order to connect in time and space. Come with me? 

Our personality and much of the beliefs are built when we are still small and so we can carry childhood pain throughout life, repeating negative messages that we may have heard from our parents, teachers and other people even when they did not have that intention. Now as adults, holders of more knowledge and discernment between things, we can access these memories, experiences and bring them as learning and building our ripening. When we access our repressed psychological and clean the limiting beliefs, resentments, fears, traumas and other negative feelings, let's '' teaching "our inner child to know the feeling of being loved, protected and supported, under any circumstance. Consequently, our adult self feels strengthened, supported and nourished emotionally.

 Let's get with "what does it mean to be a child"? 

Just like me, I believe everyone will respond that being a child is playing, making friends, studying and not having bigger worries. Being a child is to be authentic, light and cheerful. Really childhood is a stage of immense learning, equally unique and special for the child and parents, isn't? With all the potential and challenges that accompany it in this so brief and intense phase of life. And when guided and accompanied, the child is discovering and building his own personality! Each child is unique and you will agree that it needs much more than just being fed, dressed and protected by parents. She also needs access to a happy and harmonious home and feel comfortable to make choices. 

Since being able to express yourself in a real way, have tastes and wills, until it is herself. We have included here, not less important, respect for all your emotions and possible blockages. After all, being a child is the act of blooming at all times. The 21st century childhood ideal brings the image of a happy, healthy and intelligent child who has the chance to develop his maximum potential since the beginning of life and, over the years, concludes stages based on studies and jokes. Being a child in the 21st century means having a series of rights such as education, health, nutrition and the fundamental right to life. 

And it was always like this?

The story shows us that child is always a child anywhere in the world or in any historical period. What varies are adult attitudes toward it. We know, through studies, that in the Middle Ages the rate of mortality after birth were very high due to the lack of preparation to deal with childbirth and the first care. Therefore, the birth of a child at that time was surrounded by rituals and care for the baby to survive. Very common for families don't get attached to the baby as he could barely survive for a few months.

 During ancient history, the child was submitted to his father's authority. In Greek and Roman education, the family was responsible for educating the children, considered useless and unable to have any autonomy. Like gestation and birth, which were supported by beliefs and rituals, education was based on the religious imaginary, not by science and rationality. It was faith oriented, held within institutions such as monasteries and cathedrals. In addition, as the child was seen as a family member who should help in the tasks as much as the older, the minor  was facing a long work and often did not go to school. During maritime expansions, in the 14th century, the child was seen as a small adult who could serve as labor in the vessels. She was exposed to hunger, diseases, shipwrecks and wars. Already in the 16th century, a new conception of man in society has changed the way to face childhood. The child went to school and integrate a classroom, where he was polite with discipline and rigor.

 In modernity, the child finally plays a significant role within society and leaves the anonymity. In the 17th century, with enlightenment, the first childhood conception arises. The adult begins to pay more attention to this phase of life and to treat it more carefully. It can be seen, therefore, that until the 17th century, science unknown childhood. This is because there was no place for children in this society. It was then, from protection ideas, support and dependence that "childhood" arises. 

Being a child today

Between the 19th centuries and 20 has been created the first Statutes of the Child, which are a set of rules that determine their rights and goals for full development. Childhood became divided by phases and was created the concept of adolescence. In 1959, the UN (United Nations) approved the "Universal Declaration of Child Rights", which includes rights such as equality, free schooling and food. 

Today, the child occupies a prominent place in society. A consciousness was created on the importance of experiences during early childhood. In order to be the best possible, there are a number of public policies and programs that expand the conditions for your citizenship. Mainly in the underdeveloped countries, the public power is still unable to ensure that all children conclude studies and be free from child labor, prohibited in Brazil. But the looks are aimed at appreciation of childhood and for their importance within society.

Healing the wounds of the past

So let's begin to understand that every child, without exception, felt wound at some point in his childhood. Yes, all. It is normal to find this statement but, according to several studies and research, is part of the evolution and life mission of each. Be the child from functional families or not, with deeper trauma or with quite healthy childhoods at some point she registered and interpreted a certain event in a negative way, causing him pain and generating an emotional wound. Love was not felt full, the expected support did not come, the necessary protection has not been given, the inclusion did not happen. This generates feelings of insignificance, disability, of non-deserve, of disamorce. And several blocks are unfolded from there, forming adults with questions of the soul that interfere with our fullness of life. It is worth noting that in this process there are no guilty. 

Parents, for the most part, do the best they can within their physical and emotional capabilities. But as every relationship, we must understand that the needs of the other are not always our needs, and in this lives, the opportunity to look more closely at each other before doing something we deem correctly. Is it really what does the person need? 

From the upcoming texts let's together analyze and seek to understand better about these locks. Let's try to bring this our inner child closer to us, understand it and heal it. 

See you soon!

Friendship is one of the most important things in a person's life.

 Friendship is one of the most important things in a person's life.  It is about sharing joys and sorrows, successes and failures, expectations and disappointments.  Someone once said - "if you have a friend, you have everything", and it couldn't be more right. In a friendship we meet ourselves, we become more supportive and more responsible. Through the development of the sense of empathy, a friendship makes us people  better for the simple fact of making us more aware of each other. The friend is the one who spontaneously comes to be at your side, who understands you and tells you everything that other people would not have the courage to say always thinking of your best.  It is to accept the other as he is and respect him in his choices. It is to add, never to subtract.

 In the whirlwind of chores in which we live, I invite you to analyze the people present in your daily life.  Have you ever stopped to think about the role they play in your life? You must have at your side someone who shares the good times as well as the bad with you.  If you don't, or if you think you're a reserved and lonely person, I'm sure you must have developed that friendship with yourself.  As a human being, we need dialogue, to listen, to be heard, to welcome and to be welcomed.  And in this exchange, without judgment, is where we find real opportunities for growth and evolution.

A friendship is about reciprocity, it is about affection.  Perhaps friendship is the most important relationship, simply because it is present in all relationships.  In dating, it is essential to have friendship, in a relationship of parents and children, do not have even to mention. Finally, in all relationships we have to have friendship as a basis and work on its maintenance so that it continues as a pillar of healthy support.

Despite the complicity of friendship, this strong bond of union, not having expectations about what you will receive from your friend, or knowing what to expect from people can be a path to a lighter and more lasting relationships.  Having the feeling of being able to count on someone for everything, anytime, gives you security and makes you feel loved.  However, when they ask me for advice related to frustration in friendships, I ask people not to charge so much for their friend's presence, because friendship has nothing to do with omnipresence, but with gestures and moments of partnership.  Friendship for real, it flows.  There are no charges, pressure or blackmail.  No one needs to remind the other to be present, to act.

Therefore, understanding each friendship as unique is extremely healthy.  Each friend of ours is unique.  For each moment ours is a certain friend who fits right into that situation ... think a little about yours: the one who is funny, the scholar, the dreamer, there is the brave, the concerned, the disillusioned, the one who is the friend-  brother, the consumerist, the barber, the chatterbox and also that quiet one, who speaks little, but when he speaks ...

Seeing this way makes you appreciate what each person has the best, and consequently, be valued in what you have the best to offer in each type of relationship.  One of the biggest challenges for people is to be vulnerable.  Expose the most intimate feelings and weaknesses.  When we open our hearts to a friend to enter, we have the conviction that it is for life.  But we also have to understand and respect when that bond is broken.

 I have friends I met on trips, at school, in the neighborhood, at the club, at parties, introduced by another friend.  Some still walk with me throughout my journey, others have been distancing themselves, as a natural action of life.

 Everything needs to happen spontaneously, naturally, through pure and simple connection.  It happens a lot to know the true face of the person only with the passage of time, causing us to lose the admiration, the respect and the affection for him.  That is why it is important to respect the individualities and the timing of each one.  It is very rich when we have the possibility of having a friend for each situation or even one that fits many.  As we change, our friendships also change over time.  A healthy relationship is made up of values, exchange, trust, understanding, solidarity and empathy.  All the opposite of this can represent a toxic and unsustainable relationship.

 Friendships often go through turbulence due to misunderstandings, incomplete sentences, misplaced words and divergence of opinions.  Which is perfectly normal.  When these situations appear in a way that undermines the relationship, sincere dialogue will always be the best way to find a solution.  Our role is to make coexistences exchanges that have a learning curve.  Each one does the best he can, as he can, as he knows and, from there, everything makes sense.

To my friends who are no longer friends, my thanks for the walk we took together.  To those who remain by my side, my honor in having the opportunity to exchange.  Those who are yet to come will have my welcome.

 And to everyone, my deep gratitude!

Discovering Who I am

 The media have been the biggest spreader of beauty standards of and perfect life. Advertisements, movies , social medias and a lot of other medias, show us beautiful people, with perfect bodies, thin and happy. We rarely see people with common bodies, common lives, gender and race diversity.

This scene of a prince and princess ideia, actresses and actors, all happy, accomplished, cultured and rich, leads us to the frustrated tries of perfect selfies and photos to be published, always after many editions and using filters, wearing best clothes and makeup, trying best angle, showing an image that sometimes does not reflect the person we really are.

How have you been expressing your true self? 

The “I” that exists inside me, has been my personal search for the past few years.  I think about it all the time, because when I evaluate myself as a human being in a process of growth, I also see this desiree in other people.  And I realize they are also on the same search.

The human being is full of doubts and “Who I am?” is usually the biggest of our questions. Throughout human history, the search for identity has been a constant: Know yourself, as say in the song “Who Are You” (The Who), or in the inscriptions of Apollo Temple.

Maybe, the difficulty in reaching a conclusion is due to the fact that we are in constantly changing. And that “I”, refers to the physical and emotional, with our thoughts, feelings and our actions.  Body, mind, feelings, actions, circumstances... everything changes all the time.

That's why knowing who I am is so complicated. It is necessary to dive into our deep self and unveil our truths, taking off our masks and delving into self-knowledge.  Some of us spend decades trying to find the true self.

 We can read dozens books of self-help and go to dozens therapy sessions, but if we don't allow ourselves to go beyond our limits, confronting ourselves, seeing whats confine us, we will never know the answer.

Our qualities, defects and habilities are important in the self-knowledge. Know what we like or dislike, help us to define who we are.

What drive you to feel scare?

This thought can frighten you because your choices and actions will be based on what you feel and think right at that moment, making you the protagonist of your story and there is no one else to hide from, nether of yourself

Show your weaknesses, doing all with heart but no felling fear to regret, fear of failing or judgment, of exposing yourself, or just to be not sucessful... yes, I know, there are many fears.

But I believe that biggest one, is losing yourself. Be in a point to not recognizing yourself anymore for trying to adapt you to what you are pressioned to be. However, when you face these fears, the change process begin.  Think about what makes you happy, who you want to be and how you want everyone to see you.

The big true is that you have to be afraid of not being you, of wear masks, use characters to please others.  Fear will always exist, but in a point of your life, it will stop to disturb you and a time, you Will like to be who you are so much, that you even remember the characters you used